Coincidence and the Prodigal Son

“The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.” (the words of Paul)

Often, when things don’t go as planned, I’ve begun asking myself what I’m supposed to glean from a particular situation. It could be the hope of greater enlightenment, or just to keep myself from losing my mind. Either way, it’s been helpful. So, whether it’s an argument with my wife…wait a second, WE don’t argue, we discuss…so, whether it’s a discussion with my wife, trying to be a better parent or dealing with every day life, the simple question of “God, what am I supposed to learn from this?” has helped me receive life as an opportunity from God rather than coincidence.

Memorial Day weekend I was scheduled to play drums in Canada for some events: Friday night I would be in Ottawa and then off to New Brunswick for Saturday and Sunday. Asking this question was probably the only thing that kept me sane. My flight on Friday morning was scheduled to depart at 6:45am so, in order to arrive at the airport an hour ahead of time my alarm clock was set for 4:30am. Upon checking in, going through security and grabbing a Starbucks I ventured down to my gate only to see that my flight was delayed until 9:00am. This meant two things: first, I would be sitting at the airport for 3 hours and I would be missing my connecting flight through Philadelphia that would get me to Ottawa in time for the 7:30pm concert. Because it was so early, I could not call my travel agent, so I stood in the customer service line for help and also called the airline directly only to find out all the other flights to Philly were oversold. The only hope of making my connecting flight was to fly standby – which has no guarantees.

As soon as I got off the phone and out of the customer service line, I went back down to my gate and as I was going up the check-in counter, the gate agent announced that my flight was now canceled. This means one thing: I’m toast.

As I walked back down to customer service, I thought, “God, what am I supposed to learn from this?” I heard nothing and thought again: I’m toast. I called the airline again and got on a flight 9:20am to Raleigh-Durham that would connect with a flight to Philly. In Philly, I would connect onto a flight that would get me to Ottawa at 5:15pm – I could make the concert in time, if everything went as scheduled. If.

Once I got my flight situation worked out, I made a few phone calls and realized I had quite a bit of extra time on my hands. I had recently gotten the book “Return of the Prodigal Son” by Henri Nouwen and felt compelled to read it. While reading the book, I felt like Henri Nouwen was my travel companion. More than reading a book, it seemed like a conversation with a friend.

I arrived in Raleigh, then Philly. My flight from Philly to Ottawa was delayed which changed my arrival time to 6:30pm. Upon arriving in Ottawa, my suitcase did not arrive and I also got sent to immigration (the customs agent was not in a good mood). Long story short, I arrived at 7:30pm for the 7:30pm concert. I literally walked through the back door, greeted my fellow band mates and walked on stage. Most of the evening, all I kept thinking about was “God, what am I supposed to learn from this?” and still, nothing. However, I did read Nouwen’s book in its entirety.

Surprisingly enough Sunday morning in New Brunswick was when I began to put some things together. That’s pretty fast for me. On Sunday morning, we were playing music for a church service with a guest speaker. When we finished, the speaker came up to give his message and he said, “turn in your Bible to Luke 15”. His talk was on the depth of Jesus’ parable about the prodigal son. As soon as he began speaking, I realized I was receiving the answer to my question. Something within me locked onto the idea of coincidence and not just the word ‘coincidence’, but also my belief that there is no such thing as coincidence.

When I encountered God - when Jesus met me on my ‘road to Damascus’ – I stopped viewing life as a series of coincidental events. I wish I could say that I thought this through thoroughly before committing to this belief, but it was more or less a natural response after my experience. Coincidence - in light of God’s willingness to meet with me and have relationship with me – made no sense.

Was it just coincidental that my flights were delayed so much that I had the time to read Nouwen’s book about the prodigal son: the book based on the very parable that was the subject of a speaker’s message that I was working along side?

It is interesting that the etymology of the word ‘coincidence’ is dated in the 17th century. That’s the same time period as the Enlightenment Era. Is it possible that the term ‘coincidence’ is a more or less a product of the Enlightenment Era? Is it possible that is an ideological system that we use to explain away the activity of God in our lives? Is coincidence another way that we excuse God in our lives and in order to give ourselves a sense of control?

Is it possible that we – like the younger son in Jesus’ parable – squander the gift of God’s activity in our lives by using the idea of coincidence? Or are we like the father who embraces the oddities, the struggles and the ‘bad days’ of life with expectation that God is speaking? Does God have something for us to learn through the normal, sometimes painful, seemingly un-spiritual, every day events?

Thomas Merton says that “even our capacity to recognize our condition before God is itself grace.” Awareness is one aspect of God’s grace. Awareness – the capacity to recognize the working of God - takes faith and reason takes intellect. When we reason things out of our minds by the use of ‘coincidence’ we voluntarily put ourselves in the position to jeopardize our faith and our ability to hear from God.

Jesus said, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It’s going to rain’ and it does. And when the south wind blows, you say, “It’s going to be hot,’ and it is. Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky. How is it that you don’t know how to interpret the times?” (Luke 12:54-56 TNIV)

We’re so wise to explain our own lives. It’s another form of control. And yes, it’s subtle – but so is the Kingdom of God. Jesus compared the Kingdom of God to a mustard seed. Our desire to explain our life’s activity with coincidence is like blinking when you drive through a small town – you miss it.

Henri Nouwen put it this way in his book Here and Now: “Here lies the challenge. Jesus did not look at our times as a series of incidents and accidents that have little to do with us. Jesus sees the political, economic and social events of our life as signs that call for a spiritual interpretation. They need to be read spiritually!”

Whether it was my canceled flights or losing my luggage (for the entire weekend), it was all used by God to create space for me to read a book that was the exact topic of the speaker I would be working alongside for a worship service. The ordinary chaos of traveling, the reading of a book, the hearing of a speaker’s talk and the Spirit of God helped me to see through the illusion of coincidence. It was yet another reminder that the ordinary is extraordinary if we have the eyes to see and the ears to hear; if we choose faith over reason. Truly, “the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.” (1 Corinthians 1:25)