Child of the 80’s or the Kingdom?

Similar to everyone in life, I’m embracing my age on an annual basis. It’s an interesting facet of life, isn’t it? One year is hardly enough time to really, truly realize your age and more so, to fully realize the experiences that you have while you are that age. Maybe this recent encounter – flashback would be more like it – will help connect the dots.

My newest interest has been making playlists on my iPod. I know, I know…you wondering just how slow I am? Well, I am a slow learner, but that’s not the point. The point is, as ‘mix tapes’ were to me in the 80’s – so goes the playlists on my iPod now! Seriously, there IS an art to a quality mix-tape and the same goes for an iPod playlist. It’s obvious by now: I’m a child of the 80’s.

On a recent trip home, I was sitting in the Phoenix airport waiting for my connection and I felt this real sense of urgency to make an 80’s playlist. Everything song you can think of – within reason (and budget). So, I got onto iTunes music store and began selecting songs and downloading. First song, “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins. Second song, “Don’t You Forget About Me” by Simple Minds (classic drum fill – a must have). Third song, “Things Can Only Get Better” by Howard Jones. And the list went on and on. The verdict is still not in on my 80s jams playlist, which basically means my wife hasn’t heard it yet. ;)

Once the plane was in the air, I got out my iPod and decided to take a listen to my new playlist. Every song took me back in time to places that I hadn’t been in a while. Good times and bad times. When the song “Things Can Only Get Better” came on, I started remembering back to a trip my family took to Florida. We were visiting my grandparents. I had a mix tape that I was listening to on my Sony Walkman and it was made up of songs that I had recorded off the radio. One of those songs was “Things Can Only Get Better”. The song just put me in a good mood then…and as I began to realize on this plane, it was doing it now as well.

In the middle of passive listening, I became active when I heard Howard Jones sing, “And do you feel scared? I do, but I won’t stop and falter. And if we throw it all away, things can only get better.”

I immediately paused my iPod and felt like I REALLY needed to listen to these words.

I started the song over and started listening very closely to the words. This was something I had not done in 1985, probably because I was in seventh grade at the time. Whatever the case, this song was stirring my thought process.

Is it possible that my attraction to this song in 1985, even without really knowing the words was something God knew I would revisit in order to confirm a Kingdom principle I’m dealing with in 2007?

While listening closely to the words of this song, all I could hear is another ‘hit song’ (the Gospel…if you will). “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39 TNIV) Howard Jones’ song is about surrender. It’s about the theology of weakness. It’s about the one of the things that we share as humanity: brokenness. It’s about the path to wholeness and initiating the Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. It’s about surrender.

Check out the lyrics:

Were not scared to lose it all, security throw through the wall.
Future dreams we have to realize.
A thousand skeptic hands won’t keep us from the things we plan,
unless were clinging to the things we prize

And do you feel scared? I do, but I wont stop and falter.
And if we threw it all away, things can only get better.

Treating today as though it was the last, the final show.
Get to sixty and feel no regret.
It may take a little time, a lonely path, an uphill climb.
Success or failure will not alter it.

And do you feel scared? I do, but I wont stop and falter.
And if we threw it all away, things can only get better.

The words create tension by challenging us to face our fears and at the same time encourage us to unify and build community around that same fear. The words are convicting and yet the music feels like a celebration. It’s a beautiful paradox. Remind you of something? Better yet, remind you of Someone?

Henri Nouwen wrote these words when reflecting on Jesus: “We are living in this short time. We can live in it creatively when we live it…detached from the results of our work. And when we live it…crying with those who weep and wail. But it is the expectation of his return which molds our solitude and care into a preparation for the day of great joy.”

It is in surrender that we find security.
It is in fear that we find courage.
It is in weakness and vulnerability that we find strength.
It is in dying that we are born.

If you and I can throw it all away for the sake of showing this world a new community - a new humanity, things can only get better.

We WILL be the salt.
We WILL be the light.
We WILL be the makers of peace.
We WILL be the very thing that creation longs for.

Our calling is invigorating and altogether frightening. Do you feel scared? I do. But I won’t stop and falter.

So, what about this encounter connects the dots?

I find it really interesting that a song that I loved when I was 14-years-old (and wasn’t really paying attention to any of the words, I just loved the groove) is NOW speaking volumes to me 21 years later. It’s just another reminder that even though I really didn’t know Jesus in 1985, He knew me. Even though I consider myself a child of the 80’s, He cleared the way for me to be a child of God – a citizen of His Kingdom and a son of God.

Coincidence and the Prodigal Son

“The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.” (the words of Paul)

Often, when things don’t go as planned, I’ve begun asking myself what I’m supposed to glean from a particular situation. It could be the hope of greater enlightenment, or just to keep myself from losing my mind. Either way, it’s been helpful. So, whether it’s an argument with my wife…wait a second, WE don’t argue, we discuss…so, whether it’s a discussion with my wife, trying to be a better parent or dealing with every day life, the simple question of “God, what am I supposed to learn from this?” has helped me receive life as an opportunity from God rather than coincidence.

Memorial Day weekend I was scheduled to play drums in Canada for some events: Friday night I would be in Ottawa and then off to New Brunswick for Saturday and Sunday. Asking this question was probably the only thing that kept me sane. My flight on Friday morning was scheduled to depart at 6:45am so, in order to arrive at the airport an hour ahead of time my alarm clock was set for 4:30am. Upon checking in, going through security and grabbing a Starbucks I ventured down to my gate only to see that my flight was delayed until 9:00am. This meant two things: first, I would be sitting at the airport for 3 hours and I would be missing my connecting flight through Philadelphia that would get me to Ottawa in time for the 7:30pm concert. Because it was so early, I could not call my travel agent, so I stood in the customer service line for help and also called the airline directly only to find out all the other flights to Philly were oversold. The only hope of making my connecting flight was to fly standby – which has no guarantees.

As soon as I got off the phone and out of the customer service line, I went back down to my gate and as I was going up the check-in counter, the gate agent announced that my flight was now canceled. This means one thing: I’m toast.

As I walked back down to customer service, I thought, “God, what am I supposed to learn from this?” I heard nothing and thought again: I’m toast. I called the airline again and got on a flight 9:20am to Raleigh-Durham that would connect with a flight to Philly. In Philly, I would connect onto a flight that would get me to Ottawa at 5:15pm – I could make the concert in time, if everything went as scheduled. If.

Once I got my flight situation worked out, I made a few phone calls and realized I had quite a bit of extra time on my hands. I had recently gotten the book “Return of the Prodigal Son” by Henri Nouwen and felt compelled to read it. While reading the book, I felt like Henri Nouwen was my travel companion. More than reading a book, it seemed like a conversation with a friend.

I arrived in Raleigh, then Philly. My flight from Philly to Ottawa was delayed which changed my arrival time to 6:30pm. Upon arriving in Ottawa, my suitcase did not arrive and I also got sent to immigration (the customs agent was not in a good mood). Long story short, I arrived at 7:30pm for the 7:30pm concert. I literally walked through the back door, greeted my fellow band mates and walked on stage. Most of the evening, all I kept thinking about was “God, what am I supposed to learn from this?” and still, nothing. However, I did read Nouwen’s book in its entirety.

Surprisingly enough Sunday morning in New Brunswick was when I began to put some things together. That’s pretty fast for me. On Sunday morning, we were playing music for a church service with a guest speaker. When we finished, the speaker came up to give his message and he said, “turn in your Bible to Luke 15”. His talk was on the depth of Jesus’ parable about the prodigal son. As soon as he began speaking, I realized I was receiving the answer to my question. Something within me locked onto the idea of coincidence and not just the word ‘coincidence’, but also my belief that there is no such thing as coincidence.

When I encountered God - when Jesus met me on my ‘road to Damascus’ – I stopped viewing life as a series of coincidental events. I wish I could say that I thought this through thoroughly before committing to this belief, but it was more or less a natural response after my experience. Coincidence - in light of God’s willingness to meet with me and have relationship with me – made no sense.

Was it just coincidental that my flights were delayed so much that I had the time to read Nouwen’s book about the prodigal son: the book based on the very parable that was the subject of a speaker’s message that I was working along side?

It is interesting that the etymology of the word ‘coincidence’ is dated in the 17th century. That’s the same time period as the Enlightenment Era. Is it possible that the term ‘coincidence’ is a more or less a product of the Enlightenment Era? Is it possible that is an ideological system that we use to explain away the activity of God in our lives? Is coincidence another way that we excuse God in our lives and in order to give ourselves a sense of control?

Is it possible that we – like the younger son in Jesus’ parable – squander the gift of God’s activity in our lives by using the idea of coincidence? Or are we like the father who embraces the oddities, the struggles and the ‘bad days’ of life with expectation that God is speaking? Does God have something for us to learn through the normal, sometimes painful, seemingly un-spiritual, every day events?

Thomas Merton says that “even our capacity to recognize our condition before God is itself grace.” Awareness is one aspect of God’s grace. Awareness – the capacity to recognize the working of God - takes faith and reason takes intellect. When we reason things out of our minds by the use of ‘coincidence’ we voluntarily put ourselves in the position to jeopardize our faith and our ability to hear from God.

Jesus said, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It’s going to rain’ and it does. And when the south wind blows, you say, “It’s going to be hot,’ and it is. Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky. How is it that you don’t know how to interpret the times?” (Luke 12:54-56 TNIV)

We’re so wise to explain our own lives. It’s another form of control. And yes, it’s subtle – but so is the Kingdom of God. Jesus compared the Kingdom of God to a mustard seed. Our desire to explain our life’s activity with coincidence is like blinking when you drive through a small town – you miss it.

Henri Nouwen put it this way in his book Here and Now: “Here lies the challenge. Jesus did not look at our times as a series of incidents and accidents that have little to do with us. Jesus sees the political, economic and social events of our life as signs that call for a spiritual interpretation. They need to be read spiritually!”

Whether it was my canceled flights or losing my luggage (for the entire weekend), it was all used by God to create space for me to read a book that was the exact topic of the speaker I would be working alongside for a worship service. The ordinary chaos of traveling, the reading of a book, the hearing of a speaker’s talk and the Spirit of God helped me to see through the illusion of coincidence. It was yet another reminder that the ordinary is extraordinary if we have the eyes to see and the ears to hear; if we choose faith over reason. Truly, “the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.” (1 Corinthians 1:25)

In not Of [flip-flop factor]

“When we start being too impressed by the results of our work, we slowly come to the erroneous conviction that life is one large scoreboard where someone is listing the points to measure our worth. That means we are not only in the world, but also of the world.”
-Henri Nouwen

“My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”
-Jesus

My struggle in life has always been related to my career or my vocation. Better said, my ability to make money with my career or vocation. I’m a jazz drummer at heart. I love the freedom of expression in jazz music primarily because it requires knowing your instrument inside-and-out AND at the same time, forgetting everything you know so that you can actually be creative, spontaneous and improvise music with other musicians. It’s a paradox and making music like this is extremely invigorating to me. This is a passion of mine or a calling of sorts.

Most of my drumming career, I’ve had to make money by working odd jobs. One could say that I supported my ‘drumming habit’ by working a day job. They didn’t tell me about this reality when I was doing my undergraduate degree AND my masters degree in music. This lack of information created an illusion for me. The illusion that I should be paid for making music and being creative and worse, it created in me a thought process that the world owed me something. That is not a healthy disposition for being creative.

After encountering Jesus, I had a complete identity crisis. Things changed and it has taken little bit of time to fully understand how they changed. When I encountered Jesus, I felt a different calling: a calling to serve Him in some capacity. I still loved to play drums, but I enjoy talking with people about Jesus more. Without any initiative on my part, I ended up spending 6 years of my life on staff at two different churches as a worship leader. My calling (or passion) was now my vocation.

At first it seemed to be the ideal situation, combining my love for Jesus and my love for music – it made sense. But, what makes sense in this world is often not the Kingdom of God. My last staff position, I found that I was more passionate about teaching a small group and spending time with people one-on-one than I was about actually leading people in worship. My passion (or calling) was changing, but my vocation remained the same. But, that wasn’t the end.

While on staff at the second church, I was offered the job of playing drums with a Christian singer/songwriter. This would involved traveling and not being on staff at the church. Over the course of a year, I transitioned off of staff at the church and eventually began working full-time for this singer/songwriter. I play drums and then handle all the logistics for the band as the acting road manager.

I call this the flip-flop factor because things really did flip around in my life. Now, I make my money playing drums and although I’m passionate about it, I’m not nearly as passionate about this part of my life as I am about teaching and mentoring people in their walk with Jesus.

My vocation is playing drums and making music. This is my career and I get paid for doing this. Although it was once my primary passion it is now ancillary when compared to my calling. In this way, I am IN this world. However, my calling is to be a teacher and pastor. This is my passion and I do not expect to make money doing this. I don’t want to. In this way, I am not OF this world.

How do you balance these two areas of your life?

You don’t.

Balance is to those of this world, what integrate is to those NOT of this world. Balance implies that there is something practical about following Jesus and that seems to have an ‘either-or’ scenario. However, to integrate, that would be the beginning of synthesizing these two areas of life. It would be a ‘both-and’ scenario.

So we are IN the world, but not OF the world. We are called to be 100% in both our vocation and our calling. This freedom is available to us so that we can find satisfaction in productivity and yet not be consumed by it. So that we can contribute without feeling something is owed to us – because freely we have received and freely we give.

Right?

groves of Cedar

In Psalm 29, it says that "the voice of the Lord breaks the cedars; the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon".

So, what was the significance for David writing this? Lebanon cedar trees must have some significance, right?

From Wikipedia:

History, symbolism and uses
The importance of the Cedar of Lebanon to the various civilizations is conveyed through its uses. The trees were used in ancient times by the Phoenicians to build their trade and military ships, as well as their houses and temples. The Egyptians used its resin for mummification, and its sawdust was found in the pharaoh's tombs. The Sumerian Epic of Gilgamesh designates the cedar groves of Lebanon as the dwelling of the gods to where Gilgamesh ventured. They also used to burn cedar in their ceremonies. Jewish priests were ordered by Moses to use the bark of the Lebanon Cedar in circumcision and treatment of leprosy. According to the Talmud, Jews used to burn Lebanese cedar wood on the Mount of Olives to announce the beginning of the new year. Kings of neighboring and distant countries asked for this wood to build their religious and civil constructs, the most famous of which are King Solomon's Temple in Jerusalem and David's and Solomon's Palaces. In addition it was used by Romans, Greeks, Persians, Assyrians and Babylonians.

Cedars of God
Once Lebanon was shaded by thick cedar forests, so it is no coincidence that the tree is the symbol of the entire country. Today, after centuries of persistent deforestation, the extent of this forest heritage has been markedly reduced. The trees however, do survive in mountains areas and there they seem to reign supreme. This is the case of the slopes of Mount Makmel that tower over the Kadisha Valley where, at an altitude of more than 2000 meters, rest the Cedars of God. There are 12 trees that are over one thousand years old, and about 400 that are more than one hundred. Four of them have reached a height of 35 meters and their trunks are between 12 and 14 meters around.[2] Concern for the Biblical Cedars of God goes back to 1876 when the 102-hectare grove was surrounded by a high stone wall, which was financed by Great Britain's Queen Victoria. The wall protects against goats who enjoy feasting on young saplings.[3]


So, Lebanon Cedar trees represented everything associated with military ships, other gods and even other powers of this world (religious practices, buildings/palaces).

More from Wikipedia, Lebanon Cedar trees represent politics:

Regional significance
The Lebanon Cedar has always been the national emblem of Lebanon, and it is seen on the Lebanese Flag. It is also the main symbol of the Cedar Revolution, along with many political parties in Lebanon. As a result of long exploitation, very few old trees now remain in Lebanon, but there is now an active program to conserve and regenerate the forests. The forest of the Cedars of God in Bsharri and the Barouk forest are national reserves in Lebanon. Extensive replanting is also taking place in Turkey, where about 30,000 hectares of cedar are planted annually.

Now, very few trees remain. Isn't that interesting. Lebanon now has a program in place to regenerate the (Lebanon) Cedar groves.

"The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars; the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon."

What do you think David meant in this Psalm - what do you think it means today?

unconditional creativity [part 2]

“Creativity is intentional but not conventional.”

I was driving back from dropping my girls off to school and these words popped in my head.

Creativity is intentional. Intent on what? God's creation or God's constant creativity is extremely intentional. Psalm 19 says that the skies proclaim the work of His hands and they pour forth speech. They display knowledge – and yet – they use no words.

Is it possible to be so intentional in the Spirit that it looks absolutely and totally motionless to the world? That it looks almost uncreative?

What is the difference between “Spirit” intention as opposed to “physical/flesh” intention?

Is it similar to the difference between being and acting (or doing)?

To think that “being intentional” is getting something accomplished is a bit conventional. It sounds more like striving to me than being creative. It has the sound of conditional creativity rather than unconditional creativity.

What is our intent in creativity? This is important.

Creation (or God’s creativity) is intent on creating and sustaining life. Our ecosystem exists and is ‘being’ in order that we humans can live. “They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.” (Psalm 19 TNIV)

Creation is being creation by sustaining life for us. Quiet, consistent, ever changing, yet ever the same. This is probably a paradox to the world, but not to the Kingdom of God. I wonder whether if this is just one of God’s examples for what it means to be people of the Spirit, people of the Wind, people of the Kingdom of God.

We have no speech yet our voice (our being) goes out into all the earth (humanity). Our being is our spirit – THE creative presence placed within us by God. It is intent by its very nature and design when connected to the Spirit of Jesus. Every aspect of Jesus life was intentional. It wasn’t something He had to set as a goal. It was a natural response to the deep union He had with His Father. We are called to do very little but be the creative presence of God’s action in the world around us. If we seek first being His Kingdom people: people of Spirit and Truth – all of this will be added to us, right?

There is favor in being.
There are results in acting or doing.

Which do we want? To whose glory is our creativity and our intentionality?

I imagine it would require a deep union between us and God in order to be intentional in what Dallas Willard calls the “art of doing nothing”. Our intentionality is focused on being, not doing. It’s not a plea for the pacifists or the activists. It’s a plea for those in the gray area….it’s a plea for the people of God’s Kingdom – those born of Spirit.

My hope is that God would create in us a voice (a creative spirit) so strong that our being not our words or actions speak in such a way that it “goes out into all the earth, to the ends of the world.”

That we may say more in our loving silence and being than either our actions or words could ever say.

unconditional creativity [part 1]

I read a couple different blogs lately that spoke about being disciplined in creativity or the creative process. Below is a comment I left on one of the blogs.

Tomorrow, I'll follow up with a recent journal entry on creativity - I allude to one part of it in the beginning of this comment.


my comment

“creativity is intentional but not conventional.” i wrote that in my journal on June 7th.

God’s creation (or constant creativity) sustains all of us. Quietly, consistently…and half the time with no recognition by humanity at large. My only fear is that our consistency or discipline with our creativity is meant for something other than the creative process…maybe recognition, fame, popularity or worse…that we create something before someone else - which that is rooted in competition. These are agendas - and that is conditional creativity.

God’s creation or creativity is intentional and unconditional, much like His love. It sustains our every breath (creating new life constantly) with little or no thought by humanity. Are we willing to be that creative?

Most of the forerunners and truly creative people throughout time were creative because of passion not vocation; never being known until they were dead.

Are we willing to be that disciplined in our creativity?

Are we willing to be dead to be truly alive in creativity?

That is intentional and unconditional creativity...or at least the beginning of it.

since you asked....

A few days ago, I received an email about a prayer that I prayed which happened to be at the end of one of the tracks of "Beautiful People" - a recently released CD by Jason Upton that I played drums on.

Below is the email from a friend and then my response.

Date: Jun 8, 2007 11:42 PM
Could you explain a little bit more about your beautiful people prayer at the end of "Never Alone Martin"? Even just in a nut-shell.

my response:

The night we captured that track, it was Jason, Bryan, me and two prayer intercessors. To be honest, we were all interceding that night. I can only say that now, after the fact. It was a night i will never forget.

That night had some very powerful spiritual moments - with music as our medium.

The same night we captured "Never Alone Martin" we also spontaneously played "You Decide What's Beautiful"...it was a spontaneous song that we flowed into...

That prayer came between songs....we had played 'never alone martin' and it was so powerful that I actually felt like I was sitting at the dinner table with Martin Luther King, Jr. when he received yet another phone call that was a death threat. After that prayer, we played "Never Alone Martin" again...and that is the take you actually hear on the CD.

That prayer was my response to that experience...to the experience of interceding for the sons and daughters of God; for those called to be peacemakers; the beloved of God; for followers of Jesus who are called "Christians" by others, not by self-proclamation; for those content to be known by their lives more than their words --- those who are called to die for the sake of the Kingdom to be 'on earth as it is in Heaven'.

I felt like I was interceding for ALL the beautiful people that have walked this earth throughout time....the "cloud of witnesses"....they wait along with creation for the children of God to be revealed.

I hope that helps.

blessings,
al