Observing Tragedy Sucks

[archive: July 27, 2005]

It’s tough to observe a friend or loved one self-destruct. Watching another person make a bad decision is really tough. Somehow inside of all of us is this ‘superhero’ who wants to save the day. We desperately want to help this person.

It’s that feeling you have when you’re watching a movie and a person is wandering in an abandoned house and you KNOW the villain is lurking somewhere in the house….every step that the person takes you just want to scream aloud, “GET OUT”. But, this person, this movie character is on a screen and can’t hear you…so, they open the closet door and WHAMO – the villain attacks…end of story.

We had to watch the attack; we had to observe the tragedy. Why? In a movie, it’s part of the story, the plot….of course, if it’s a horror movie, it may be nothing more than another person getting killed by the psycho-serial killer freak….but in most stories, tragedy plays a major part of the story. Somehow, we forget this in real life. For whatever reason, we understand and are moved by stories on TV or on the movie screen, but aren’t able to qualify our lives in the terms of a story. Maybe it’s because we don’t want to face the end of the story? I’m not really sure.

When you begin to follow Jesus, I think that a portion of the transformation process in a person’s life is the idea that we are part of God’s story. Not only did God create each of us as unique human beings, but also our individual stories are unique. And the individual stories of our lives are the instrument that God uses to reconcile people back to relationship with Himself. The good, the bad and the ugly of your life are all a significant part of who you are and your personal story. In some Christian communities, people use the word ‘testimony’ to describe their story. Let’s look at the definition of both words and I’ll let you draw your own conclusion:

Testimony:
1 a (1) : the tablets inscribed with the Mosaic law (2) : the ark containing the tablets b : a divine decree attested in the Scriptures
2 a : firsthand authentication of a fact : EVIDENCE b : an outward sign c : a solemn declaration usually made orally by a witness under oath in response to interrogation by a lawyer or authorized public official
3 a : an open acknowledgment b : a public profession of religious experience

Story:
1 archaic : HISTORY 1, 3
2 a : an account of incidents or events b : a statement regarding the facts pertinent to a situation in question c : ANECDOTE; especially : an amusing one
3 a : a fictional narrative shorter than a novel; specifically : SHORT STORY b : the intrigue or plot of a narrative or dramatic work

They seem very close in their basic meaning. However, story seems to be more relational and testimony seems to be more religious (formal). What do people relate to more, a statement or a story? Here’s a good litmus test for that question, go and ask some people to recite the Gettysburg Address. See how far they get with that. Then, ask them the plot of a recent movie or even and old movie like ‘The Wizard of Oz”.

You can probably guess the outcome.

As we begin to see our life as a story that God will use to impact the people around us, I think we are free to celebrate the good, the bad and the ugly in our lives because we now know that it God is working in our lives; He’s working out our story. Not only do we see the living God working in our lives but it allows us to see the living God working in the lives of people around us. This can be awesome and it can be gruesome.

Why gruesome?

Our lives are a series of daily choices and ‘the consequences of our choices are a part of our future” It’s very easy to observe that in our own lives, but very difficult to observe in other peoples lives, particularly those people that are close to us, in community with us, those people that we love.

When we observe our friends or family make choices in their life that seem to be counter to their personality or counter to the community that they live in, it’s really difficult. For people who are following Jesus, it’s even more difficult. In the scriptures it says the following:
• 15"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him--work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. 16If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. 17If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love.
• From the book of Matthew: 18"Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. 19When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. 20And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there."
• From Paul’s letter to Galatia: 1Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. 2Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. 3If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. 4Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. 5Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. 6Be very sure now, you who have been trained to a self-sufficient maturity, that you enter into a generous common life with those who have trained you, sharing all the good things that you have and experience.
• From Paul’s letter to Thessalonica: 14If anyone refuses to obey our clear command written in this letter, don't let him get by with it. Point out such a person and refuse to subsidize his freeloading. Maybe then he'll think twice. 15But don't treat him as an enemy. Sit him down and talk about the problem as someone who cares.

Whether it is Jesus or the apostle Paul, the responsibility that followers of Jesus have when it involves approaching another follower of Jesus that is making iniquitous choices in their life, the scenario is layered and difficult.

Let me backtrack to my title “observing sucks…tragedy happens”. When followers of Jesus are in healthy community and they are doing life together, I think it is very important to prayerfully consider whether to approach or NOT to approach a FOJ that is making iniquitous choices.

Why?

Because, we may be interrupting the story that God is writing in this person’s life. As I said early, every good story has tragedy. Is it possible that the person who is making poor choices in their life NEEDS to hit the wall? They need to crash headlong into a bad situation? Is it possible that hitting the wall is the only way that God will be able to reconcile this person to Himself?

As with most situations, we must question our intent as well. Confession and repentance are the essence of following Jesus, but those actions are in response to God first and man second. I think it’s important to honestly call out bad decision in my life as well as others, however, how we remedy the situation, how we move forward in repentance is personal. Repentance is between that person and God.

It’s not easy. Especially knowing that the majority of churches talk more in terms of how to live a moral life, rather than how to pursue the heart of God. Or as Dallas Willard has said, the point isn’t sin management . Rather, the point is who we are becoming. We must train ourselves to name the problem that we see in a FOJ’s life, but allow God to be God and work out the solution (or repentance) in their life. Make sense?

We can speak into a person’s life about the finite, but we should be very careful that we are not trying to speak the infinite.

It takes enough fortitude to have a conversation like this; it takes another level of restraint or even maturity to know when and where to STOP the conversation.

It’s the balance of when you stop talking and allow God to talk.
It’s the balance of knowing when to act and when NOT to act.

In all things, it is important to evaluate the relationship between the finite and the Infinite. We are intended and designed to do amazing things by the power of our life in Jesus Christ, however, we must remember it is through His spirit that all of this is possible. We must know when we end and when He begins.

Sometimes bad things, tragedies, are meant to happen.

When it happens in our own life, it’s tough, however we have the advantage of knowing that it is part of the transformation process…it’s part of our story.

For some, that light bulb has not come on yet. And the only way that the Light will come on, is if tragedy has it’s way because of the iniquitous choices that have been made.

Think about it…

Not one of Jesus’ disciples wanted Him to die on the cross; they had to observe tragedy. God didn’t allow anyone or anything to interrupt the tragedy of His story. Because He knew that it was the only way to transform and change the course of humanity, forever. Tragedy began the process of transformation….for all of us.

Observing tragedy in the lives of people around us sucks, but when we realize it is part of the story that God is writing our lives, we are enlightened to a life that resolves.