FYI

Although it feels a bit odd to write this - mostly because I know of at least 2 people who read my words: me and my wife - but I am moving my blog.

By the end of this week, I will have a new website that will include my writings.

I have not posted a lot of my new thoughts, simply because I've been wanting to refine them and get them just right before I put them out into cyberspace.

Anyway, the website is www.alsergel.com. Again, this new site will not be up until the end of this week, but this will be where I will post my new articles.

I am not closing this blog, it will serve as an archive.

Have a great week, month, year and life.

voluntary

-Tertullian. in his 2nd century defense of Christians, remarks how Christian love attracted pagan notice: "What marks us in the eyes of our enemies is our loving kindness. 'Only look,' they say, 'look how they love one another'" (Apology 39).

-The Apostle John said in his first letter “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

God is love.

Outside of prayer and meditation on the idea of ‘God is love’, I began to study the depth of this statement as well. While reviewing the definition for the word ‘love’ – agape in the Greek – I wrote down two words in my journal that caught my eye. The first word was unconditional and this word is continually something I am learning about both by definition and experience. The second word I wrote down was voluntary.

Voluntary is defined in a couple of ways:

(1a) done, given, or acting of one's own free will; (1b) law (of a conveyance or disposition) made without return in money or other consideration.
(2) an organ solo played before, during, or after a church service. A piece of music performed extempore, esp. as a prelude to other music, or composed in a free style.

If we combine the definitions for voluntary, it might read something like: the disposition of a person who gives extempore of one’s own free will without return or other consideration not just as a virtue, but as a way of life.

Voluntary is not only a disposition, but it is a musical art form. It is a free style, improvisational piece of music (based on the prepared music) that happens before, during and after a church service. It’s like a spontaneous, extended introduction to a song. It’s based on the prepared song that you are about to perform, but it is a spontaneous expression – a sort of personal touch – that the musician adds because of their deep connection to the prepared song.

Similarly, as ‘voluntary’ is a musical art form, it should be a way of life and living for you and me. Because we are so deeply connected to the Song, the prepare music – that being Jesus – we are continually ready to create a spontaneous piece of music or a spontaneous action of love through our very being and living. Love, as defined by Jesus’ life, is unconditional and voluntary. Love has no agenda, no strings attached and it is an action that is a spontaneous – almost second nature – expression and response to daily living.

born again

For many in the southern US, the words ‘born again’ have become trite and their meaning is buried along side the epitaphs of other words such as: homecoming, revival and alter call. Yesterday, many others and myself observed 4 people begin or renew their relationship with Jesus at the end of our Sunday morning gathering. At the end of gathering, our pastor mentioned that we had witnessed the miracle of ‘new life’ and he quoted 2 Corinthians 5:17-18. The Apostle Paul writes that we are a ‘new creation’. To be a new creation, means that we not only begin again, but we begin with a new person, a new identity. In a culture where the basic and foundational idea of being ‘born again’ has been abused and or neglected – hence, rendering it lost – there’s no doubt that a new follower of Jesus will be tripped up on the idea of having a new identity.

Because the idea of being ‘born again’ has so many different cultural definitions depending on your denominational slant or where you grew up, I tend to view a new relationship with Jesus like someone who is waking up from having a severe case of amnesia. You don’t really know who you are – in the eyes of God. It’s an identity crisis – and a big one at that.

To be ‘born again’, is to be born into the identity that God had for you before you were in your mother’s womb. Your identity crisis happened upon your physical birth into this world, you were born into a fallen humanity. You were born with amnesia. It’s not your fault, it just is. But now that you’re aware, you have a responsibility to attend to. Regardless of your age, being awakened out this state of amnesia and into this new life (new responsibility) is a paradox. It’s amazing and horrifying, refreshing and overwhelming all at the same time. You’ll find that paradox is an essential element in God’s Kingdom, much like oxygen is to earth.

There probably is a practical way to get reacquainted with both yourself and Jesus, but that’s not my area of expertise. My journey has been one of simply making it up as I go along. There have been times of incredible joy and times of overwhelming depression and yet in all of it, I found peace. More than any of the emotions that I felt, the presence of Truth brought a peace that passes all understanding. To know the Truth is everything, but we must start by knowing ourselves.

Know Thyself. Yes, it is a Greek philosophy, but it begins the process of unraveling how we, as humans, have adapted our personalities to our surroundings. Our surroundings are a fallen humanity. There are two areas of self that Christians – both new and old who are pursuing their new identity - should be aware of: calculating and competitive.

Calculating Self: Each child in a family stakes out her own territory of attention and importance by developing certain aspects of her character into “winning ways”. One child may be sociable and outgoing, another may be quiet and thoughtful, but both are aimed at the same thing: to find a safe and identifiable niche in the family and the community and to position themselves to survive. Anxiety regulates behavior and alerts the child to the dangers of being one-down, unattended to, or at a loss. A child comes to think of himself as the personality he gets recognition for or, in others words, as the set of patterns of action and habits of thought that get him out of childhood in one piece. That set, raised to adulthood, is…the calculating self. (from the book “The Art of Possibilities” by Rosamund Stone Zander)

Competitive Self: “Our whole sense of self is dependent upon the way we compare ourselves with others and upon the differences we can identify. It is upon these positive or negative distinctions that much of our self-esteem depends. It does not take much reflection to realize that in all family problems, ace conflicts, class confrontations, and national or international disputes, these real or imaginary distinctions play a central role. Thus, we define ourselves in ways that require us to maintain distance from one another. Giving up dividing lines and relinquishing difference and distinction would mean losing our identities!” (from the book “Compassion” by Henri Nouwen)

Both of these are products of a progressive society. At the root of both the calculating self and the competitive self is the idea of usefulness. Are you useful? Do you contribute to society? If not, what’s wrong with you? If so, how much? It’s a never-ending spiral of continually trying to prove yourself and to prove your worth. It drives you to create an identity around what you see helps you survive and also, around what you see makes you distinct from others. It is a created and manufactured identity and because you created it, you must sustain it. You can see how by just trying to sustain this type of manufactured identity it leads to the many physical and mental disorders that we see today.

To be awakened from the state of amnesia is to have Jesus call you by name. Those whom Jesus has called He has set free and they are free indeed. But that freedom has a responsibility and that responsibility is a constant quest for the truth. The truth about who we really are in the eyes of our Father, God. The truth about what He has destined us to do with our lives. The truth about how that destiny is to assist in building a new humanity or the kingdom ‘on earth as it is in heaven’.

To be ‘born again’ is to be woken up by Jesus and realize that you have a lot to learn about both Him and yourself. The paradox is that as you learn about Him, you learn about yourself as well. Our identity is His identity. We find ourselves in Jesus and eventually, He finds himself in us. It’s not something we create; it’s something we find through an ongoing quest for our new identity.

Enjoy the journey.

postlude [9.18.07]

To suffer with…

Compassion is the essential element to real life. Real life and real living involve active friendship and community. For a follower of Jesus, compassion goes beyond virtue. It is much more than a behavior we present to others – it is the Presence that presides within us.

Compassion requires a constant awareness of the ongoing choice.

It is the choice to suffer with our friends or not. It is the choice to enter into real life with others or not. It is the choice to build community around our common humanity or not. It is the choice to suffer with the One whom suffered for all humanity or not. We 'suffer with Christ' or not.

In the human body, all real power and strength come from the 'core'. In that way, compassion is the 'core' of the Body of Christ. It is the source of real power and strength for those who follow Jesus because it reflects Him the most.

To follow Jesus is to live life with compassion.

friendship [a lost art]

While trying to gain a fresh perspective on what it really means to be in community with other folks, I’ve come to realize a deficiency in my life: friendship. Not so much having friends, but being a friend. Like so many things in life that are meaningful, being a friend involves sacrifice. It is a sacrifice of time, convenience and self.

Simple friendship is a lost art in a world that equates progress with efficiency (the conquering of time) and convenience. It’s quite a paradox to live in a world where we spend countless hours developing ways to make life more convenient – in hopes of creating more time for ourselves – yet, we end up being lonely and isolated. If we are honest with ourselves, you and I cannot conquer or create time. Time is and will always be, whether we are breathing or not. Instead of focusing our attention on what we have control over – that being our actions – we tend to focus our attention on trying to control that which we cannot – that being time. What would happen if we exerted more energy thinking about how to sacrifice time, rather than how to conquer it?

Pure friendship is a lost art in a world defined by agendas or conditions. “Friends…check” is a lyric at the end of John Mayer’s song Something Missing and it might as well be a modern-day mantra for how most of us actually view friendship. It’s just another item on our checklist. We – and I include myself in this – like the idea of having friends, but actually being a friend is quite a different matter. The idea of having friends is an agenda – it serves our ego and personal purposes. To be a friend or to be anything requires of us attention and intention. It demands that our attention be on our neighbor and that our intent is to serve our neighbor. Pure friendship requires sacrifice of self.

Admittedly, friendship is continually on the verge of becoming less of a reality and more of an ideal for me. Like many people, I’m self-centered, yet, my admission does nothing without action to the contrary.

postlude [9.4.07]

“The calling on my life is…”

For many of us, the word or thought of a ‘calling’ is a bit elusive. At best, confusing. For those of us who live in the southern United States, we’re surround by vocational ministry, or “professional Christians”. Having said that, it’s easy to think that a ‘calling’ is – in some way – vocational.

When Jesus called Peter and Andrew, as well, when He called James and John, the ‘calling’ was more of an invitation into relationship and friendship, rather than a solicitation for employment.

If a ‘calling’ is an invitation into relationship with Jesus, then, is it really connected with how we make a living? Or, is it more the way in which we live our life?

Like the love of Jesus, isn’t His calling to us also unconditional? In some ways, is it possible that vocational ministry simpler, more cut and dry? Maybe; maybe not. For those of us who are not working in the context of vocational ministry, don’t fall prey to the notion that our responsibility to minister in our every day life isn’t less? It reminds me of what my mom used to say “bloom where you are planted”.

We are called to relationship both with God and with each other. This is our calling. This is our life together. This is The Way.

Lord, help us break out of the forms of what we call church, community and relationship with your Son and relationship with one another. Help us, Lord.

glory

“Al, maybe the word ‘wealth’ actually means ‘wealth’! Sometimes there isn’t a deeper meaning to a word.”
-wisdom from my wife, Naida

Admittedly, I tend to be a definition and etymology freak. My wife, of all people, knows this very well. One night, our small group was studying Jesus’ encounter with the rich young ruler and I mentioned that maybe the word ‘wealth’ meant something other than ‘wealth’. My wife said plainly, “Al, maybe the word ‘wealth’ actually means ‘wealth’! Sometimes there isn’t a deeper meaning to a word.” Everyone in the group got a laugh and we moved on. Later in the evening, our small group prayed together and in the midst of the prayer, my mind couldn’t stop racing about the word ‘glory’. Here’s why…

Several weeks before this small group meeting, I was in attendance of a Christian conference where one of the main speakers continually used the word ‘glory’. Whether it was ‘the glory of the Lord’, or ‘receiving the glory’, or ‘being in the glory’, this speaker used the word ‘glory’ enough to make me – you guessed it – look up the definition and more than that, the Greek meaning of the word ‘glory’.

The word ‘glory’ comes from the Greek word ‘doxa’ which means opinion, judgment or view. It can also mean: to be of opinion, think, suppose or it could also mean: it seems to me. I wrote this information down in my journal and didn’t think anything of it until this moment of prayer in our Tuesday night small group.

At first, I thought it interesting that we would use the word glory SO much in church, especially with the understanding of it’s real definition. Just try inserting the word judgment or opinion or view in with some of the typical church sayings with the word glory and it makes things a bit interesting. For instance:

“let your glory fall” = “let your opinion fall” or “let your judgment fall”

“To God be the Glory” = “to God be the opinion” or “To God be the view”

Interesting…

During our prayer time, I realized just how much I missed the point. Glory is opinion, it is judgment and it is view. It is God’s opinion, God’s judgment and God’s view. The glory of the Lord would be truly glorious if God’s people actually had His opinion, His judgment and His view of His world. How radical would it be if Christians – those who follow Jesus – actually carried with them at all times a God-view of our surroundings; that our worldview would become a God-view.

Trust me, this is not some hokey try-to-rhyme, trite playoff on the idea of a worldview. How truly glorious would it be if God’s people viewed His world, His creation, His people (regardless of where they stand in their relationship with Jesus or God) as He does. This would be radical love, this would be a truly worldview. It’s a view of a world like no other. It’s a view of humanity like no other. It’s a view of people like no other. This is glory defined.

Glory is not an action toward God for God, and quite frankly, I’m not entirely sure what it is….except that it is an action of God, for God, by God – through us, His people. When we are Christ-like, having the mind of Christ, then we are Christians. Not by words but by deeds. So it is with glory. When God has graced us with the ability to view His world as He views His world, then the words of Jesus come alive. ‘Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.’

God receives glory from those who view His world the same way He views His world – with genuine compassion and relational love. This ‘glory’ enables us to engage life through serving humanity the same way He served. This ‘glory’ enables us to lose our life for the sake of finding it.

I don’t want to live my life accepting the cultural definition of words – regardless of the context. Only in an honest quest for truth will we grow into the calling placed on our lives.

sticks and stones

It’s funny how what seems like a random event to us is so intentional for God’s working in our lives. For instance, I recently got back in touch with a friend from high school and although I can’t say that I had even the remotest desire to rekindle any acquaintances from that time in my life, it happened.

Out of the blue, I received an email from a friend from high school, who honestly, I actually tracked with. When I moved away for college, we tried to stay in touch, but the more time passed (and I moved more), we just didn’t correspond any. As we began to email back and forth – just catching up on our lives, family, kids, etc. – I began to recount a lot of things from that time in my life. One thing in particular has really stuck out. Now that I’ve remembered it, I’ll never forget it.

It happened when I was in 7th or 8th grade (aka 1985 or 1986). I wasn’t one of the popular kids, but I also wasn’t unpopular. This always created tension for me, because, as with most kids in middle school, popularity is EVERYTHING. In the Midwestern small town that I grew up in, there were a limited amount of things that a middle school kid could do. Fortunately, the Presbyterian Church had a basement that they would convert into a social club for middle schoolers. They had ping-pong, fuse ball, movies, dancing, and a host of other things. It was THE place to be. Any social life at all for my middle school, took place in this basement. The church called this place “The Cove”.

It’s amazing the amount of memories that resurfaced for me while emailing back and forth with this friend. It’s important to note that our emails had nothing to do with these particular memories. I think the emails just got me thinking deeply about a part of my past that I worked very hard to leave in the past. I didn’t run from my past in this small town, it was more like sprint.

There was one particular scene that happened at The Cove that has been replaying over and over again my mind. Although I don’t remember the details as to why this happened, it happened and it’s probably one of many things I regret doing in my life.

There was a very pretty girl named Lisa Woods. It’s safe to say that I had a crush on her, but I would only admit this now after 20-plus years. I’m not sure if she ever did anything to me to hurt my feelings or not and honestly, that wouldn’t have warranted what I said to her. All I remember is saying to her “well, at least my parents aren’t divorced.” It’s crazy to think about, but I not only remember saying those words, I remember the desire I had to hurt her with those words. It creates such an ache in my heart that I can barely think about it for too long before I get sick to my stomach and tears in my eyes.

She will probably never read this, but if she ever does, I want her to know that I am so sorry for saying those words. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding that event, what I said was hurtful and any words I could muster up now could never express my regret for allowing those words to leave my mouth.

The irony of it all is that my parents are now divorced.

This recount has brought a lot of thoughts to mind. One of which is the incredible power of words and how careless we, as humanity, are with them. Why do we teach children the trite saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me”? It’s just not true. Sticks and stones scar the flesh and words can scar the soul.

My wife has a little scar on one of her eyelids and it is barely noticeable. When she was a little girl, she accidentally took her tricycle into the brick steps that led to the front door of her house. When she hit the brick steps, she got a cut above her eye. That physical scar is a reminder of that event and she only remembers it when she is asked about that scar.

On the flip side, my wife grew up in a Muslim home. Her father was a brilliant man and had high expectations of his children. My wife is very smart and at one point in grade school, she brought a grade card home with all A’s. Like any child looking for parental approval, she took her grade card to her father. Her father’s response was, “you may be getting A’s in school, but you are not getting A’s with god”. Apparently, she wasn’t praying enough to Allah. That is a psychological scar that has affected my wife’s entire way of living life.

Words are stealth, powerful and have both an immediate and delayed reaction. Think about it. Initially, words are heard not seen. But, they ARE seen over time in how they shape our being, our personality, and our worldview.

Imagine that two students are in an art class and working on paintings. They both have a paintbrush, a palette of colored paints to work from and a canvas with the beginnings of a painting on it. At some point during the class, one of the students walks over to the other student’s painting and makes some random strokes on their canvas without asking them. Those random strokes would stick out and seem out of place with the picture already on the canvas. That’s what words like “at least my parents aren’t divorced” and “you are not getting A’s with god” does to the soul of a person. They paint ugliness on a canvas of beauty. They pronounce judgment on a soul full of possibility and potential.

If a person continually receives this kind of verbal abuse from people, it makes sense that between their own brush strokes and all the unasked for colors that have been brushed on their soul’s canvas will, over time, mix together and either create a very dysfunctional picture or a black canvas.

The only way a black canvas can be white again is from the shine that is created when light hits it and is reflected off of it. Direct light on a black canvas will eventually fade all the black away. But it takes time and a lot of direct light.

In the same way that hurtful words brush random colors on the soul of a person, I think kind words; pure words – words without any agenda but love – brush white onto the canvas of one’s soul. It allows for a person to start a new painting, a new life.

Sticks and stones do break our bones and hurt our outside - but only temporarily when compared to how words hurt our inside, our soul. Maybe an appropriate childhood proverb to promote, as a mantra should be: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all? Of all the things I wish I had instilled early in my life as a value, this is one of them.

To all those I hurt through my words layered with arrogance, pride, insecurity, fear of rejection and hate – I am so sorry. Please forgive me and know that I hope that this letter is one loving and white brush stroke on the canvas of your soul.